Writing Friday #5: Narrative: Personal & Fictional

The event I am writing about is from when I was about four or five years old, but oddly enough, I still remember it pretty well. When I was about four years old I remember the first time I caught myself and said “hey I got to go to the bathroom.” I was in my basement when this happened, but I chose not to go into the basement bathroom. Maybe since I was four I thought if I went alone I would be attacked by monsters, but I don’t know. I went to the bathroom that was near the steps on the middle floor. I can still picture this bathroom in my mind even though it was at my old house. I went to my little toilet seat (the kind that you are on the ground and when you are done doing your business you have to dump whatever is in there into the real toilet). I am pretty sure this mini-toilet was a purplish bluish color, but I don’t remember every single meaningless detail. I pulled my pants down and sat on the toilet, waiting, and waiting, for something to come out. Finally something did, and I ran out to tell my mom. I am not sure if I washed my hands, but I wasn’t a very experienced at going to the bathroom so I probably forgot or did not even know what that was. Yelling and screaming, I told my mom and she was excited, but she wanted me to prove it. We went back into the bathroom and I showed her my accomplishment. She was surprised and happy, and I was probably proud and happy because I was the first one of my family (I am a triplet) to learn one of the most vital skills in life, going to the bathroom. This was the same case with riding bikes too, I learned first, but that is another story. My part-time nanny at the time gave me a present and I remember exactly what it was. It was a Barbie doll, but it was Ken as a doctor (I didn’t use it very much). I remember being disappointed with the present, but looking back on it now, it is not as much of a catastrophe now as it seemed to be then. The next day I don’t remember what happened, actually, the next like four years I don’t remember what happened, so this is one of my really good memories of my childhood. I do know is that I probably liked T.V. shows like Power Rangers and Batman, and I liked toys liked ninja swords and laser guns. That is the story of me being potty-trained, and the events that happened before, during, and after this great triumph.


Michael D’Amelio
10/18/2006
English
My mom said I needed some apparel for school, but I decided to not wear any. My whole family besieged me and tried to not let me go to school in my, “clothes” but I got away from them and hid until the bus came. Right before I went to school I tried to compress all my binders into my backpack which was pretty successful until my backpack ripped. So, I was going to school without clothes, books, or a book bag. At the beginning of school the principal decided to denounce to the whole school what “clothes” I was wearing (my principal is pretty crazy).
When I came to my first class, my teacher decided to dispatch me to the principal’s office (which was pretty normal, I went about three times a day). I came into the office and there was a raging fire. I tried to douse is with the principal’s unlimited supply of alcohol (I told you he was a little weird), but it was no use. I expressly started rolling on the ground because I was on fire! After passing out after I got out of the fire, I was in a dessert and extremely famished (I forgot to mention I lived in a desert). The fire had burned down the whole town, and every city within eighty miles. I was picked up by a group of survivors in a car, and then I was fed.
Since there were about fifty survivors and nothing to eat, the leaders of the expedition forsake me and about twenty other people. For the rest of the week there seemed to be nothing gainful or to any help at all to the twenty unlucky people that were deserted. On the eighth day of searching we saw an immense pool of water. We all dove into it, but it ended up being a mirage.
On the tenth day we ineptly found the other survivors. They were in a cave shivering in fear because their car had run out of gas. We then beat them up and stole all their food and water. Since it was my idea to attack I was proclaimed the leader of the “group” and the most ingenious of all of the twenty members. If I asked for water, I was instantaneously granted some. The problem was that I drank half the water supply because of this privilege, but I told everyone the second-smartest person did it and they believed me. We deserted him for his stealing and we made him eat sand as a punishment. After a while the praising started to irk me.
Once out of the desert I planned to libel a book of our adventures. While I was in the desert I was misgiving that we would ever get out, but finally we did. I told everyone in the tribe to jump of a cliff, and they did (they really obey my command) which is good because I get all the water. I had had a tribe of worthless oafs anyway. Because of the strong winds I began to recede back into the desert I had just come out of. I had to have shelter in the cave were my first tribe was and I told them about my plans to write my book about my adventures. Since they weren’t too fond about me leading the attack of their tribe where we stole all their supplies they said I would have one last supper. I had my last repast before they stoned me to death.